God and Pride

God is so powerful. The pride that is hidden in my heart gets forced out of me without me even knowing sometimes. Because of the Holy Spirit my mouth talks and my brain thinks - usually the things God wants me to say and do. I don't usually decide that stuff on my own. If it were up to me I'd never ask anyone for help. I'd be dedicating my life to everyone else but myself, adopting every child and pet on earth then probably neglecting them so I can go take care of my neighbor. Why is it so easy to take care of other's problems but when it comes to our own - ignorance is bliss. This way of thinking is natural for someone like me with a natural caregiver instinct. Its not the worst trait to have but is surely difficult to deal with.  Getting myself mentally prepared to go to UNMC with my Mom for some high dose of chemotherapy. I know it will be challenging (as this illness is anyway) but for my own piece of mind and for her sake, I know its worth it. The kids will stay with the other grandparents and Tom will stay home and work. praying.

Life is complicated. difficult even. I am learning through my spiritual journey that I am nothing but a speck - like the speck in the movie "Horton Hears a Who". Horton cared enough for that "speck" and believed in it - their was life in there. He did everything to make the others believe. Sometimes I feel like Im the speck and Jesus is the "horton". Jesus cared enough for me even though Im nothing... Im not deserving of the love and grace he has given me. But he believes in me and even died for me. Luckily the story didn't turn out that way for Horton - he stood his ground and eventually the truth was known. I pray that will happen for the non believers.. . I pray we all learn something from Horton. We can bring our loved ones, strangers and co-workers to believe in Jesus and what he did for us.. for every one of us. Friends, keep sharing the word, have faith. We were never promised this would be easy or comfortable but we are called to share the gospel. Our hearts should be overflowing with love for Jesus Christ - so much that we seem obsessed - almost crazy. I am so far from doing this the right way. I just know what Im supposed to do and so greatful for the people who really do it well. Im also very thankful for the people in my life that gave me the opportunity to know Jesus.