God and Pride

God is so powerful. The pride that is hidden in my heart gets forced out of me without me even knowing sometimes. Because of the Holy Spirit my mouth talks and my brain thinks - usually the things God wants me to say and do. I don't usually decide that stuff on my own. If it were up to me I'd never ask anyone for help. I'd be dedicating my life to everyone else but myself, adopting every child and pet on earth then probably neglecting them so I can go take care of my neighbor. Why is it so easy to take care of other's problems but when it comes to our own - ignorance is bliss. This way of thinking is natural for someone like me with a natural caregiver instinct. Its not the worst trait to have but is surely difficult to deal with.  Getting myself mentally prepared to go to UNMC with my Mom for some high dose of chemotherapy. I know it will be challenging (as this illness is anyway) but for my own piece of mind and for her sake, I know its worth it. The kids will stay with the other grandparents and Tom will stay home and work. praying.

Life is complicated. difficult even. I am learning through my spiritual journey that I am nothing but a speck - like the speck in the movie "Horton Hears a Who". Horton cared enough for that "speck" and believed in it - their was life in there. He did everything to make the others believe. Sometimes I feel like Im the speck and Jesus is the "horton". Jesus cared enough for me even though Im nothing... Im not deserving of the love and grace he has given me. But he believes in me and even died for me. Luckily the story didn't turn out that way for Horton - he stood his ground and eventually the truth was known. I pray that will happen for the non believers.. . I pray we all learn something from Horton. We can bring our loved ones, strangers and co-workers to believe in Jesus and what he did for us.. for every one of us. Friends, keep sharing the word, have faith. We were never promised this would be easy or comfortable but we are called to share the gospel. Our hearts should be overflowing with love for Jesus Christ - so much that we seem obsessed - almost crazy. I am so far from doing this the right way. I just know what Im supposed to do and so greatful for the people who really do it well. Im also very thankful for the people in my life that gave me the opportunity to know Jesus.

School has started!! I am one of those mom's who enjoys sending my kids to school. I am not good at structure and they need it therefore Im so greatful someone else can provide it better than me!

So I went to Mexico the first week in Aug with the church. It was amazing! I learned a lot about myself and the different culture. Im very glad I went - and I would go again. Praise God for that opportunity, not just for me but for the entire team and the people we impacted while there!

Tom and I celebrated our 10 yr anniversary last weekend at SunnyBrook camp and floated down the river. It was a great time to get away. The kids stay with my parents and went to the state fair.

Im glad to be getting back into a daily routine - summer is challenging.
We are working on getting counseling for Avery. School is a particularly difficult time for her. I hope we can get her back on track in the 4th grade. Raven is loving 1st grade.


Learn something new everyday.

water park

well, I did it. Purchased a season pass to the Island Oasis. My kids are officially old enough to go and play while I lounge around and watch them. I love it!! Raven has a little floating type swimsuit so she bobs up and down in the wave pool.. its funny, she looks like a turtle (pink one).

Im looking for a weekend we can go camping this summer and Im afraid its going to be boiling hot. By the temps this spring I can only imagine what it will be like in July and August. Maybe its time to sell all our camping gear. Are we getting too old for this? Our kids (mostly Raven) can't be anywhere near a bug or its like her life is ending.

so I've been thinking about this blogging thing and I really need to do this more often. I have ONE follower..(hi Shane) LOL maybe I just have no friends. So any of you people out there want to subscribe to my blog? I am going to try to keep up maybe like weekly.
spent Memorial Day weekend at the lake. It was nice to be on the boat again. We caught some fish and ate some fish. It was great.

WITHIN THE LAST WEEK: concussions, UTI, behavioral issues, ADHD, falling off bikes, beating each other up, screaming, bad words, doctor visits, counseling visits, school work, church.  Im hoping for a better week.
Avery has started taking lithium. I saw her mood change yesterday but I think it was just a fluke, as the meds have surely not started working already. Blood draw saturday and then will increase the dose, then another blood draw to see if wear at the right level yet. Then another 3-4 weeks before we actually see a change. this game is not fun at all.

life here sucks

wow all I can say is life in this household is horrible right now. Avery is psychotic and only going to get worse as we remove another medication & start a new one over the next two weeks. Lord please get us through this without another hospital visit. I'm still paying on the last one. I can't handle this. We have to find a way to keep her and I both away from the hospital.
I hate being so negative  but there really is no positive here right now.