Friday, February 26, 2016

I opened the door

This blog post is old, just saw that it had never been published. I think it is time:

I saw her with my eyes when I opened her bedroom door. The clothing she picked out in the morning that wasn't the same as she laid out at bedtime. A long skirt she had pulled up under her armpits and trying to tie the belt part around her neck like a strap. "YOU LOOKED AT ME!! YOU JERK!! YOU LOOKED I TOLD YOU NOT TO LOOK AT ME!!" I saw her because I had to get into the room to get clothes for sister. She knows that is not what she is supposed to wear. As the clothes sit on her desk she continues to get dressed.. she ended up putting on a shirt and looked appropriate. Now she will come home and face the problem of clothes need hung up. Problem? yeah this is a problem. She will stomp and yell and probably throw them across the room, until we no longer give her any attention at all. Then, if she wants to get out of her room the clothes will need to be hung up.. will she even get to the dinner table?

"soup kitchen" Its what "J" (her counselor) calls boring food. Nothing special: no desserts or extra snacks. Just food. For example while she is in "soup kitchen" she might get a plain meat/cheese sandwich, carrots and water. PB & J with sweet peas or green beans - and water to drink. I will never starve my child, she will always have enough food to eat. It doesn't always have to be exciting or yummylicious food that the rest of us might be having that day. For "A" there isn't much we can take away that she cares about. Food is one of the currency's that works. She hates it! NO SNACKS!! NO YOGURTS!! NO FLAVORED WATER!! You would think we just killed her kitten as much of a fit she throws. 

Because this morning she had a blow up and called me names, this week she slapped me, pushed"R" so she ran  into the washer, stomped and screamed at me again and again, as well as beat her head on the wall, throw things ... etc. Because it was a rough week we will say, she has soup kitchen tonight. no fun for anyone!! 

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Have I mentioned I love french fries? Yep I do. And I don't plan on cutting them out forever.. changing the quantity I eat yes, for sure...