Tuesday, December 11, 2018

It's time to start counting down. I am in disbelief that the thing I've been waiting 8 months for is only one week away! I feel so positive about this life change. I cannot wait to see what God has in store for the rest of my life. I am hoping for less pain, more energy, and a longer healthier life. I am planning on spending more time outdoors in this treacherous Midwest weather with my kids and hopefully grand kids some day! I'm also anxious to put my servant heart to work, to serve others as God intended, to help more people, love more and have more fun!
Failure? Yes its a possibility. It's not a bad word -  As I have to tell my kids all the time, we are going to continue to fail as long as we live on this earth as flawed humans. But what we choose to do after that is most important. In my family we pick ourselves up and start again. "Do the next best thing" is a quote I've heard over the years and It tends to stick with me every day. That brings me to my next point. Grace.
Grace. I need it. I am not setting myself up for failure like I've done in the past. I'm having real expectations on myself which means there is room for that mistake I will have. I am not going to be hard on myself for not getting it right everyday. I ask that you won't be either. Please don't food police me. I know what is right and wrong for my body and if I choose to put something in my mouth that is wrong - trust me I'm the only one going to suffer. I'm a work in progress. I need Grace and If I don't give it to myself I can't expect it from my people.
Vegas. Yep I did it.. Twice in one year! Thanks to my lovely cousin Julie and her family. It was perfect timing, I ate and drank and slept, walked and shopped with an amazing young lady who at 13 years old really knows her way around that town!! LOL I can't wait to go back 100 pounds lighter and walk more!
What to expect the next few weeks from me:
Nothing. Ya, I'm wrapping up all my Christmas stuff this week before Sunday. Will be celebrating Christmas day with my family, My Mom and Brother. I won't be able to eat anything but protein shakes! I'll be dreaming of stuffing..ha ha not really. I've had my share of food - what got me here in the first place!
My bible study ladies will hopefully have a meal train set up to feed the rest of my family if you want to help. I also won't be able to lift more than 10 pounds or drive for 2 weeks. I've got some rides lined up for the kids but If you are willing to help with any of that we are glad to take the help. Just contact Tom or I.
I've got a great pre-op diet that is two weeks long and today is the half way point! Its 3 protein shakes a day, 64 oz water, 1 carb, 1/2 cup veggies, 2 C lettuce, 3 oz lean meat, and 1 fruit PER DAY! For real peeps- its hard! I think I slept the first 3 days plus I was just getting home from my trip. Now I'm doing fine and the only problem I've had is a mind battle with sweet & sour chicken. I've never wanted it more in my life!! I think its the only thing I didn't eat last fall while saying goodbye to all my favorite foods. I may sneak in a couple bites. I've dropped about a pound a day since last Monday. Today's weight brings me down 31 pounds from my highest. The point of this diet is to shrink the liver so its not in the way of my stomach when they go in to remove it!
That's it. I've got a few days to finish up everything. I hope you have a blessed and wonderful Christmas and New Year. I will update the blog sometime next week when I get home from the hospital! Thanks for all the love and support!
See ya on the other side! xoxo

Wednesday, November 21, 2018


It occurred to me today that I'll be flying out to Vegas in a week from tomorrow! I need a tan, a wax, new shoes, along with Thanksgiving and a two day trip to the in-laws in between that!
Whew, what a whirlwind this next month will be.

I'm also less than a month from surgery! I did my pre-op physical and my admissions phone call already this week.
I'm down 26 pounds from my heaviest weight. I feel okay, but I don't look any different. Next week I also have to go to Lincoln for final nutrition visit. Honestly I'm surprised how fast this whole process has gone. Its far from over but I'm seeing a lot of hope for my future!

The last few months have been a little crazy too. Both of my kids turned into athletes, one joined swim team and one basketball. I didn't know the level of pride involved in being a sports mom. I LOVE IT! Nothing has ever been "ordinary" or "traditional" about raising our kids. But finally something that seems "normal"is actually happening. I am trying to hold in my excitement and pride but to be honest... its very hard not to put my hair up in pig-tails and cheer them on every time that uniform goes on! Being part of a team is so important and my kids have really needed this for a long time! I even have a 16 year old who may be getting a job! Its unreal. Both of these girls have matured so much in just a year.. even just a few months. I'm just in awe. I'd be lying if I were to say its a little sad that Grandpa didn't get to see R play basketball or A in a swim meet. But I know how proud he would be and I feel it.

BTW - I ate french fries about 4 times last week. Shhh.. guys I only have a couple weeks of "real" food left. I start a mostly liquid diet on Dec 4th!! Tom is taking me to the Jazz restaurant in the Old Market Friday night..That will be our last "date" night when I will eat a whole meal. Not sad at all!! Just excited!

Okay- until next time - I pray you all have a blessed Thanksgiving with family and friends. May your travels be safe and food be yummy!

Monday, October 15, 2018

My future........

When I started trying to get serious about weight loss earlier this year, I had a goal to lose 10-15 pounds and go back to the plastic surgeon in May to try to get approved for a breast reduction. Things changed. Something that surgeon said stuck with me. He said I should consider weight loss surgery first - told me about a newer procedure I'd never heard of. I've also NEVER even considered this type of surgery. I started researching the "sleeve" surgery online, joined a Facebook support group and began looking for a surgeon. I thought I'd check it out, see if its for me, not expecting to go any further.

When I first saw Dr Hung in June I think... he told me i'm a good candidate for this type of surgery and will check on insurance. Things like this never go my way so I didn't get too excited. I found out my insurance requirements and decided to give it a try. Since June I've been jumping through hoops- (not going to lie, kinda half ass-ed on some things) I started seeing some results in myself and learning some things. I'm down 22 pounds since Feburary.... what? when is the last time I've done that without trying really hard killing it at the gym and taking supplements? This whole thing is about lifestyle changes, not fad diets, not starving myself, not just working out but real every single day for the rest of my life changes.

When I met all the requirements for my insurance and it was time to submit for approval, I was still not getting my hopes up but was very encouraged about the whole process. Many positive vibes from my people and the thousands of online supporters has gotten me this far. Image result for what is vsg

One day on a Wednesday, I got the call from the surgeon saying "You're approved" I was still in disbelief! I began telling some of my closest people and now I'm counting down to my Sleeve Gastrectomy surgery on December 18th. I know there are a lot of concerns, questions and changes in my future but you guys, something drastic has to happen or I won't be around to see my kids grow up. Obesity is just as real a killer as cancer or diabetes. I'm excited for this journey! This is not a quick fix, not an overnight recovery, not "just a surgery" this is a lifestyle change and I've spent more than 7 months researching, talking and praying about it and Its finally going to happen. 

I will start sharing more details on my journey soon as well as before/after pictures. I really appreciate the support of my friends and family during this time!

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Size 14 what??

Long time no Blogs... Life has been getting in the way of my blogging. But that is how it goes right. I'm still working on this lifestyle.

So here is the progress:

 We have to have health screenings for our health insurance and I compared my results this year to last year at this time and I'm happy say I'm down 18 pounds, 3 inches on my waist and down 2.5 BMI points since last August. Although I just started this journey in late February with small changes. I feel pretty good. I know its slow but its better than the 18 pound gain I had the year before!

These are the goals I've been working on:
1. half-caff coffee
2. no liquids 30 mins before and after meals
3. No breads on sandwiches
4. Increased activity
5. French Fries... many many less than normal. Like I've eaten about 6 of them in as many weeks.

YAY! It's about small changes for me. I am not great at commitment so its hard for me to keep up with anything for long. This is exciting!

I'm still unsure where this journey will lead but the goal is HEALTHY! I'm really getting excited about living longer, more active and healthy lifestyle.

The small changes are working well for me right now.
My next BIG goal is to fit into these shorts.
They are size 14. yeah, guys. I'm for real..I put them on and they don't even go past my hips..
BUT I think they will look great on me! I think that would be about a 120 pound weight loss. Just putting that out here for the world to see me win loose or fail. I'm going to try! And whatever happens I know it will be okay!

Thursday, August 23, 2018

NO French fries!

Its the end of my 3 months of medical weight management- You may know that the last 6-8 weeks has been pretty rough so we decided to do another month! I am enjoying learning new ways to eat and moderation. Even with a few bumps.. (ok lets be real here... MOUNTAINS) Since the first of July - I'm so proud to say i'm down 20 pounds since I started changes in Feb. I know its not a lot but ya know.. I've lost 10 pounds in a week before and we all know how that goes. So I'm not giving up. I have little over 100 to go. 
I've been sick with sinus infection maybe for weeks.. been awful tired and many headache days. Finally called in to dr yesterday and started on some antibiotics, slept a LOT and woke up today feeling refreshed and little less dizzy! 
Thanks for sticking with me through this! 
I'm excited what the next month will bring. 

Some of my goals are:
1. get better at tracking food
2. Gym 2x week
3. cutting carbs in half.
4. cut daily caffeine in half.

Some things I've already concurred:
2. No Coffee Creamer 
3. half the amount of carbs/pasta/ & breads that I would normally eat. 
4. significant decrease in pain!  

Long way to go guys but I appreciate your support and prayers!! xoxo

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Have I mentioned I love french fries? Yep I do. And I don't plan on cutting them out forever.. changing the quantity I eat yes, for sure. Going without them for a period of time while I train myself to eat = difficult!

Last few weeks has been interesting, I took a fabulous trip with my cousin Julie, Jared, Lynn & Liz. Lots of surprises along the way from Vegas to Disney and two trips to the ocean!! What a whirlwind. Also we ate. We ate a lot of food. I learned a few things on the trip. 1. I can't eat like that. My body hated me and my shoes got too tight from swelling. 2. I am really out of shape. It takes being in decent shape to do all the fun things that I desire! 3. I'm taking that trip again after 100 pound weight loss! And this time i'm bringing my kids and i'm going to keep up with them! Whew!! That is a lot to say out loud. Leaving me pretty vulnerable. When? I don't know for sure but I'm counting on it.

Seem like a pretty hefty goal? Well I'm a pretty hefty gal with a lot to lose so...I'm doing what I can to make it happen, when? I don't have that answer but y'all will know when it does because guaranteed I'll look different!

Here are a few favorite pics from my trip. I'm trying to get 600+ pictures narrowed down to maybe like 400.

trump tower

beach hair

this is where I belong

why was I born in the middle of         america? 

Thursday, June 21, 2018

To a new adventure - investment in my future.

Here is my first Blog post: I'm using the same blog I've always used because I don't need all kinds of blogs just hanging out on the web for no reason.. If you want to look at old posts feel free. This is going to be a safe place for me to start over - I may vent or cry or over eat - I'm just trying to make my life better and asking for people to come along side and pray for me during all of this. The destination is healthy not skinny. 
Here is my facebook post to kick it all off: 
My stomach turns as I typed and posted this so fast before I could chicken out. 

Ok Friends, I usually don't share a lot of big goals because - well fear of failure. I fail a lot as we all do- but I tend to personalize it and hate myself because of it. I am challenging myself to be transparent and humble in my efforts to lose weight. I'm starting a big journey. I don't want any diet advice, any pills or supplements - i'm working with a doctor, nutritionist and therapist. I'm not asking for advice.. but if you are willing to support me in my journey would you simply give me a "like". I'm going to be blogging about my journey and try not to bore anyone to death, but if you are on my team let me know so I can ask for your support and prayers and maybe some accountability. I'm fearful and teary writing this because I'm scared to fail.. again. But I know by the Grace of God I can do this. p.s. I'm going on a big vacation and I will not be eating perfect and I will be drinking a little too.. please don't judge. This didn't happen overnight and I will not lose weight overnight either. Its about behavior changes - long term. Baby steps and goal setting is where I am right now.

It's time to start counting down. I am in disbelief that the thing I've been waiting 8 months for is only one week away! I feel so p...